Aging Gracefully- A Series Looking Holistically at the Views of Aging in Society and Offering a New Perspective- Part 1: It's All Connected & Mindset is Key
As we age, many feel the pressures to reverse the signs of aging, hide that it is happening and conceal our true selves.
We mask with hair color, make up, lotions and potions claiming to erase wrinkles, lighten and brighten the skin. Some even feel greater pressures to see a doctor who can lift, tuck, inject and transform our natural beauty into a plastic beauty that looks like all their other clients.
We live in a society where many women judge themselves and others based on the beauty standards of Hollywood, fashion and popular culture. Often in theses worlds, there is a pinnacle of beauty, and we do not see many women aging naturally in these spheres of the world. Add to it, technology and all the tools we have to filter, photoshop and change the appearance of a person to fit in a specific box and sell a specific ideal of beauty. We can also turn on the tv and have plastic surgeons in our living room sharing how they fixed botched surgeries or "improved" someone's appearance. The biggest things I notice from shows like these, are that when you go in to see a plastic surgeon, they draw on you with magic marker, noting all the "flaws" which they can improve on. And they don't seem to care about the underlying cause of the "flaw", they just want to provide a fast solution. This normalizes the action of looking for your own "flaws", and we all know, WE are our own worst enemy! Most often, no one would speak as harshly to us as we do to ourselves. In fact we would never dream to tell a friend she is fat, dumb or ugly, but many people do that to themselves daily, sometimes many times a day!!!
As a holistic esthetician, living in a world where plastic surgery, and medical esthetics is considered the norm, it can be challenging to connect with the people who are looking for different ways to address, and avoid the inevitable results of aging. Aging is something that will happen to all of us. As we age, our health and wellness changes and it effects the look of our skin. Even as young as our twenties, we start to have a decline in the natural production of collagen in the skin, and we start to see pigmentation (dark spots from sun damage) on our face and bodies, especially if we didn't develop habits to care for our skin early on. With each decade there are more skin health and wellness challenges to address. There is literally nothing wrong with the natural progression of our bodies as we age, but we have the ability to care for our skin from inside out. Eating well, exercising, managing our stress, paying attention the the environment we live in and the toxins around us that effect our health. All of this plays a roll in our whole body health and wellness.
As a person who is a learner and an educator, I feel educating people on how to properly care for their skin, empowers them to improve their skin health, and builds their self confidence in their knowledge of whole body wellness with natural solutions. This starts with our young kids, teaching our children to wash their face and apply a lotion that nourishes the skin, as well as choosing foods that cultivate a healthy body, and encouraging our children to listen, feel and address their bodies emotion, processing stress and discovering tools to improve their lifestyle is were we start. Ideally if they are caring for their body at a early age, it will be less of a struggle to care for their skin health during the challenges of being a teen and beyond.
But some of us are 40+ and never received such tools. Many people don't know what the proper steps are for caring for their skin, and they get overwhelmed trying to sort out truth and fiction from what the consumer world tells them they need. Some have no connection with their body. Many people do not know when they feel off... Or they only know their health challenges and they categorize the issue they face as only effecting a specific part of the body, forgetting, or perhaps they never knew that ALL our bodies systems are connected, they effect each other and so we must look at the whole to address the specific challenge.
Working with a holistic esthetician like myself, either in private coaching or in group classes, you gain tools to address whole body health and wellness. We look at the skin, but also all the body systems that effect it, as well as addressing and shifting mindset on aging and beauty. If you are someone who wishes you could learn to age gracefully, you can! But it is a practice of mindset, radical self love, and self care that looks at your whole person. You work to improve your health and wellness, as well as your mindset around aging.
Many want to age gracefully, but what does that mean?
It is a personal question, with a personal answer for everyone who examines this idea.
It looks differently for everyone. Here are just a few of the ways people look at aging gracefully.
Some want to literally do nothing and just let the aging process happen. Their mindset on accepting their age and how it looks on them is their grace.
Some just wade into caring for their skin by consistently receive facials and developing a proper skincare system will boost their skin health, allowing their skin to be healthy, glowing and rejuvenated. This is their way of proactively caring for themselves, knowing they will age, but they can look good doing it.
Many care for their skin, work out, watch what they eat, and work on their mindset, while still indulging in certain aspects of improving their appearance with hair color, makeup and/ or light non invasive cosmetic treatments or surgery. These people kind of want the best of both worlds, they know the importance of selfcare, but they still feel they must prevent the signs of aging to live by societies standards or to feel confident in how they appear. They know they will age, but they want it to be a slow, gentle process.
Others whole heartedly embrace radical self love and self care. They prioritize their health and wellness, not for others but for themselves, and they also know their mindset is key, not just the mindset of how they view themselves , but learning to love themselves and find value in their unique beauty vs, only seeing their faults. .
Finally there are those who simply have a child like spirit who move through this world admiring the beauty and wonder which is all around us in nature and life. They are active and care about their health and wellness, but they also know the importance of play and have fun. They embrace who they are, and their youthful energy surrounds all they do giving them a flourishing beauty that is uniquely theirs.
There are many variation on how to age gracefully. Some start with baby steps learning to care for themselves, Others embrace their greys, and wrinkles as a sign of wisdom and experience. A key element to aging gracefully is giving yourself grace to be you, and share yourself with your world. Stop hiding, stop pretending to be someone or something else. And give yourself grace in the journey. The journey of loving your self, loving your grays, or the wrinkles on your face. Shift your mindset and perspective from negative to positive. Just imagine the difference you would feel if you could look in the mirror and think, "look at those beautiful fine lines around my eyes, I feel so blessed to have them because it means I laughed a lot with friends while on amazing adventures or just silly afternoons together. I am grateful I have had such amazing times, and that I get reminded of those experiences day." This gratitude and positive thinking will shift how one talks to oneself. I also strongly have a belief in progress not perfection. Rather than live up to an ideal, be the best, most well rounded, interesting and engaging version of yourself TODAY, and keep moving toward continued improvement. Finally, find a community of support, to lean on. Surround yourself with others who see your value and beauty rather than tear you apart.
Shift your perspective, in order to shift your world.
If you need help working through this, but are interested in discovering your natural beauty with natural solutions, schedule a complimentary 30 min consultation with me to discuss your personal challenges and how I could support you in your quest to age gracefully and embrace your unique natural beauty!
